This week the United States Supreme Court will hear two cases regarding marriage equality, more specifically for same sex couples. One case focuses on California’s Prop 8. That case will start to be heard on Tuesday, March 26th. The second case will be heard on Wednesday, March 27th and will focus on the constitutionality of DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act.
Although both cases pertain to the LGBT community, the overarching theme of equality affects all Americans.
Polls show that Americans at large are in more in favor of marriage equality than ever before and more and more states have been adopting it.
In San Francisco , this Monday , March 25th, supporters of marriage equality are asked to join in a march from the Castro to City Hall. Here are the details:
San Francisco’s March4Equality on March 25 is part of an historic nation-wide movement in support of marriage equality and equal protection under the law. As the U.S. Supreme Court hears the Prop 8 & DOMA cases on March 26 and 27, Americans across the United States will be coming out to rally and march in their own towns. Spread the word to your friends across the country: a list of actions can be found at http://lighttojustice.org/
HOW YOU CAN HELP: 1) SHOW UP AND MARCH! The best way to volunteer is to JOIN US on March 25 at 6:30 in the Castro. San Francisco has always taken a leadership role in the fight for equality, so we want to make a powerful statement to the world with a strong showing on the streets of San Francisco. 2) SPREAD THE WORD: Invite your friends and family to join us in SF on March 25 for the rally and march from Castro and Market to City Hall. Share the news on Facebook, Twitter, email, and other social media, and encourage your friends to share through their own social networks. 3) MAKE SIGNS: While we will have some printed signs on hand for the march, nothing makes an impact like homemade signs that express your ideas in your own words. Let’s flood Market Street with our messages! 4) VOLUNTEER: We can use help at the march, particularly with set-up (5:30 p.m. at Castro and Market) and clean-up. For more info email march4equality.volunteer@gmail.com.
Why do we march?
There is no greater gift then to be equal under the law in a free society. If any citizen is treated lesser than an other under the law then, we as a whole citizenry, stand in jeopardy of losing all of our rights. Equal must be equal. There is no compromise. Marriage Equality is not simply a gay issue, it is an issue about the very core of our constitution and the rights that it guarantees the citizens whose mandate it covers.
In terms of the LGBT community, this is part of the long journey out of countless closets, family rejections, criminal accusations, bullying attacks, job discrimination, societal disdain , and being the throw aways of a bigoted majority. This march is also a celebration and a solemn recognition of the thousands that have gone before us, who fought discrimination, who died at the hands of bigotry, who risked life and limb to fight for the causes we are now so close to winning. This is for the Harvey Milks and the Michael Shepherds who marked the way. These are for the thousands who passed away too soon and too quickly. This is for those men and women who served secretly in our armed forces with honor and bravery.
Once equality wins in America for the LGBT community, it will pour into the rest of the world.
We march hand in hand, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Trans, Queer, Questioning, Straight , all citizens of this great country and this world. It is about standing up for what is right and what binds us together. This is not about separation and division . It is about union and the grand one purpose of equality.
There is something sacred about this march. It represents the hopes and dreams of generations past, the generation now and all those in the future.
A great Christmas story does not need a sweeping plot ,building to a moving crescendo with heartwarming music culminating into a tearful , joyful ending. It simply can be a series of moments sent against a wintry, rainy San Francisco backdrop ( that feels more like spring) and the magic still happens. Christmas came early for me this year.
I was visited by my son and his wife.
It has been over two years since I have seen them. It sounds ludicrous that we have not seen each other in that time, but our schedules and also some financial set backs impacted us. We talked and communicated constantly ( thank you, technology) but it has not been the same.
My son and I also have a lot of ground to make up. Without going into too much detail, our relationship was derailed a few years ago, because he found out in the most awful, damaging way that the big reason for my divorce from is mother was that I came out as a gay man. He had not been given that information from us. The reason for this was that I came out from a very conservative religious background and unfortunately had no tools ( in the area I lived) to help the children process that and I agreed under pressure not to talk to the children about my sexuality until they were much older. I was made convinced it was better for them. One of the biggest mistakes of my life.
My son and I were so close and the way he found out was so destructive , it literally destroyed our relationship from the time he was 14 until he was 20. I spoke to him really just once in that time period. What was worse is that he went through an ordeal personally that took him to a dark place in his life and he finally, through counseling, his mother ,and his own courage made it out.
It was during that process he found me again. He eventually saw me as his dad and literally found his love for me. The past precious few years have been a new era for us as father and son. Love conquered all.
He was my little man when he was younger. We were inseparable. My only son. I have daughters, also. I remember him literally tackling me every time I came home from work. He and I would spend hours playing computer games. We had our own special guy movies we would go and see. I would watch and cheer him on in his team sports. We are both competitive and love sports. He was fearless. There are so many stories in my heart of memories of me and my son.
During our estrangement, part of me died. I had worked my whole life to accept who I was and in doing so, it looked like things did not get better. There was a time I almost believed it was better I never existed. It was the children who helped me find purpose. With the volatility in the industries I was in, jobs took me farther from them as I needed to support my children. They have been the driving force in my life and I lived and worked with them always in the center of what I did when it came to earning a living and being a dad ( even if I was not present in the home). My only regret is that I wished I could have lived closer. Wisdom always is better in hindsight.
Now all that is in the past , much healing has happened and there is so much more happiness. I have all my children with me in heart and we are together as they experience young adulthood.
So, my enterprising son and his wife, flew into San Jose for a conference for a business they are doing together. Yes, my son is in school and about to go to grad school for an MBA. Works as personal trainer and also co-partners with his wife in a business. He is younger than 25. He is more mature than I was at his age. We are always on the phone talking about business, his dreams and he just has such an ambitious , expansive view. Do I sound like a proud dad? I sure damn am.
His wife is in social services also and is trained in ballet and dance. Beautiful , wonderful girl. I love her like my own.
So , back to the Christmas moment. After a couple of days of conference, they got a night Caltrain from San Jose to San Francisco. I met them down at the station. Seeing him , I hugged him and my mind went back to when he was a lot shorter than me and was that little boy. I remembered when he was born and I literally shouted in the delivery room at the Guam Memorial Hospital when they told me he was a boy. I hugged him at the train station for a little while and tears flowed. I hugged both of them. That moment will be frozen in time for me.
With the precious hours we had and to avoid the rain, we got in a taxi and headed to North Beach to an Italian restaurant for a late dinner. My son is part Italian. The meal was great. The waitstaff were so wonderful to us . We spent our time over the meal reminiscing, talking, and just being. We laughed, joked, and got caught up in that true San Francisco feeling. A few years ago I could not have imagined having such a wonderful time with my son. It was happening. It was real.
I swear there was a Christmas song playing in the background.
All of the heartache of the past was washed away. My son and I are in a new era of our life. We want to see each other more often. In fact we are talking about exploring business ventures together. He gave me some materials to consider. I believe we also have some father/son vacations to plan.
It does get better. Not only because of truth . Because love truly conquers all.
So this is my Christmas magic. When I sent them on their way on the Caltrain back to San Jose, it was this beautiful wonderful thing that seem to define this season no matter what faith or non-faith you have, that this is what life is really all about. This is what is most important.
“City sidewalks, busy sidewalks
Dressed in holiday style
In the air there’s a feeling of Christmas…”
Finally, I was joining my best friend in one of his trips to San Jose to enjoy the gay bar scene there for the first time . Yes there is one there. Really, there is… and I wanted to see it.
I have been to San Jose Pride and really enjoyed it. The whole two and half hours I was there.
Well, I met up with him, his date and another good friend of ours in the Castro before we got in his black mustang and headed on the road to San Jose. The fog was pretty thick in San Francisco . It dissipated the further we got south where we could see the stars and the moon.
We knew the night was going to be real interesting one as soon as we entered San Jose and got close to the airport ( the bar is close to there). We were all awed by how close the planes came in to land from where we were at on the road. The lights from the planes were so bright. My best friend’s date piped up ” That is not a plane!” Well, the rest of us knew it was because we could see the Alaska Airlines logo on the tail. He kept insisting it was hovering in the air. Yes, that is right…hovering. Like a UFO.
My best friend asked him what he was on because he wanted some of it.
His date said he wasn’t on anything and that what we saw was not a plane. I thought , well, those aliens branded themselves with an Alaskan Eskimo logo. Does that mean that Alaskans are…
Well, my nest friend’s date kept insisting it was not a plane the rest of the night. Okay, then…
Anyway, we got to Renegades. What I love about this bar it sits right across a huge shopping plaza where there is a Target, a El Pollo Loco, and all those suburbia chain standards. Yes, I was thinking about running over and getting some chicken. Not at the bar, silly. Well, maybe there, too.
We get into the bar which was something like an upscale version of Este Noche in the Mission, with a tinge of the White Horse Bar in Oakland and with a whiff of south of Market. The bartenders match the decor. But ,they are friendly. There is a dark split patio in the back to smoke.
There is a good crowd because Pollo DelMar has brought her Glamazone show in from San Francisco. We are there to watch our close friend, Ana Mae Coxxx perform. Many Drag performers that we know are present. The show is actually quite good. In fact, it really brings up the up the place by several notches. Familiar faces and great performers. There is a guest star from Ru Paul‘s Drag Race.
Drinks there a plenty. Yes, we down a bunch of them.
I meet someone from Hawaii. He asks me for my number. I can’t remember his name now.
There is a guy in a face mask and leather hat ( cute) that passes out great jello shots. Yep we have a couple of rounds of those babies.
The night ends and then we get ready to leave.
However, there is a plan that involves Hobbits. Well, a Billboard for the new Hobbit Movie. We want our pictures with it. It is located by the bar. When we get closer to it , there is quite a space to actually get up to the ladder. So none of us want to do it, except for my best friend’s date. Yes, the one who saw the Alaskan Airlines UFO.
He climbs up the Billboard and he poses and I take a picture. Well, I take a picture of him climbing up the ladder, climbing down the ladder, etc. also. He has a cute ass.
We are hungry so we GPS Map search Denny’s. The nearest one is 10 miles away.
We get there. The waiter asked me what kind of eggs I want. I said water.
This past weekend was just filled with so many experiences and has pulled my emotions in so many ways.
It was a weekend of transition , where I saw one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life come to a close. That experience was serving as Prince Royale in the Huggable Red Lion Court of the Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco. This past year, this non-profit organization in the LGBT community raised over $45,000 for several charities. The court was headed by San Francisco’sGrand Duke Alan Toomey and Grand Duchess Kylie Minono.
Newly elected San Francisco Grand Duke Moses Garcia and Grand Duchess Paloma Volare Photo by Charles Anderson
San Francisco Grand Duke Alan Toomey and Grand Duchess Kylie Minono Photo by: Charles Anderson
It was also the coronation of the new Grand Duke Moses “Moe Jo” Garcia and Grand Duchess Paloma Volare. Moses has been a dear friend of mine for several years and I was active in his campaign. Paloma served as the Crown Princess of the Court I was a part of in this past year. It was indeed a happy celebration. I was also bestowed a permanent title of Knight to the Golden Bear of Erin in the Council by former Grand Duke Patrick Noonan. It was a surprise and an honor.
J.P. Leddy being inducted as a Knight into the San Francisco Ducal Council
All through the ceremony I saw people who made an impact in my life like Ana Mae Coxxx, the members of the Haus of Coxxx, the Ducal Council, members of the Imperial Court and just friends in the community. I also was especially touched when the most admired Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence bestowed the the title of the well deserved “Saint” to Kylie Minono. Beyond the titles , all these people give of their hearts and hands to the community. What an amazing group!
I also enjoyed the company of friends during the weekend and made new friends. It always amazes me how San Francisco beings together people of all ages and backgrounds. The Castro alone has been a place where I have made some deep friendships and had some amazing experiences. It has been a place of adventure and fun. There are volumes of stories to tell and equally some of the most interesting people have shared drinks with me or break bread in the venues that line the streets of this famous area.
It was Folsom weekend and the leather fetish theme permeated the neighborhood and the city. It was all in fun but it also represented the freedom to be who and what you wanted to be that this city so cherishes and defends so fervently. It is why I love to live here.
Tami , Behdad, JP and George
San Francisco is called the city of love. Most of us are still trying to find the ultimate romantic kind. However, there are all kinds of love out there and this city is filled with it. It is a city of friends and family. Ultimately it is why I call it home.
Moses “Moe Jo” Garcia Candidate for San Francisco Grand Duke 2012
He literally lights up a room when he enters it. Often you hear his infectious laugh that fills up the whole space and expresses itself though his whole body. Moses Garcia , or as he is affectionately called, “Moe Jo” brings such a positive energy to his well known volunteer service to the San Francisco LGBT community charities and other public charities.
He once held the title of Mr. Gay San Francisco. He has been a leader in both the Imperial and Ducal fundraising court systems. He has held many fundraising events and has raised thousands of dollars.
Through it all, he has been able to be amicable, caring , and trustworthy which has earned him credibility as a leader among his peers and the public. Moe Jo deeply cares about the different charities that the Ducal Council supports and also looks at other groups that can benefit from the Ducal efforts.
He certainly brings with him the strong spirit of the Latino community but he also reaches the broader community because of his universal appeal. You feel that he is one of us and understands us. He is a doer and expects it in us.
With charities that work with such needs and causes like AIDS, Breast Cancer, Anti-Bullying, Hunger, Humane treatment of animals, Poverty, Moe Jo has the combination of skills that he can bring to the table with the next elected Grand Duchess to raise even more funds to help all these worthy endeavors.
On a personal note, he is a friend. I have known him for a few years now and I have seen him. He is human. Yes, he is flawed like the rest of us. However, he believes that there is good that we can all do to better ourselves and our community. He has proven it time and after time again. Often with no real thanks and a lot of sacrifices through countless hours of service.
All through it , you can still hear that contagious laughter, that brings brightness to your soul. So, yes, it is HIS time to lead us. We will be the better because of it. So on Saturday, September 15th, if you live in San Francisco , Marin or San Mateo counties, take some time and go to Project Open Hand at 730 Polk Street between 9:00 a.m. and 1 :00 p.m. or Magnet in the Castro on 18th Street and vote for Moe Jo for Grand Duke. All you need is a valid Government I.D. card.
I will be voting for him. He is my choice. I believe he should be your choice too.
The Huggable Red Lion Court of the Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco L to R Back Row : Princess Royale . Megan Pixel, Crowned Prince, Erick Lopez, Prince Royale, JP Leddy, L-R Front Row Crowned Princess Paloma Valore, Grand Duchess Kylie Minono, and Grand Duke Alan Toomey
When the current Grand Duke, Alan Toomey, asked me about a year ago to serve as his Prince Royale in his court in the Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco, I had little understanding about the organization and what that really entailed. I knew it involved fundraising typically at the local gay bars with drag shows for charities. Well, that was simply a peripheral, narrow point of view.
San Francisco’s Grand Duchess Kylie Minono and Grand Duke Alan Toomey
A year ago I embarked on a journey with an organization with deep tradition that spearheads grassroots fundraising events and efforts on behalf of dozens of charities.
The Grand Ducal Council of San Francisco was formed in 1973 out of the longer running Imperial Court organization of San Francisco which also raises money for numerous charities and has numerous chapters worldwide. The only other independent ducal organization is across the bay in Alameda. The San Francisco Ducal Group oversees all efforts in San Francisco, Marin and San Mateo counties.
Every year a new court comes into being with the election of a Grand Duke and a Grand Duchess by residents of those counties. The next election is September 15th. They act as co-chairpersons of all fundraising events for the following year. They appoint each a Crowned Prince and Crowned Princess, a Prince Royale and Princess Royale. This year I was the Prince Royale of the Huggable Red Lion Court. They also have other administrative officers. They have their own court which includes those who earn their titles through winning them by raising money through various fundraising events.
It is all about service. Our court raised over $45, 000 worth of funds for charity in real grassroots fundraising. Literally, a dollar at a time.
San Francisco’s L-R Prince Royale JP Leddy, Crowned Prince, Erick Lopez and Grand Duke Alan Toomey
Among the charities that benefited are the All Family Project, Project Open Hand, The San Francisco Night Ministry, Lyric, Breast Cancer Emergency Fund, AIDS Health Project, San Francisco AIDS Project, the Trevor Project, the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus to name a few.
There is definitely a pomp and ceremony to the official events of Ducal organization patterning itself after royalty. Most of it is done in fun but it provides decorum and also a sense of honor to the cause we are involved in, and that is service to these worthwhile organizations.
I have a deep respect especially for the drag community in San Francisco, and the network of bars and nightclubs who support most of these events. These people have the biggest hearts and are often the most misunderstood both in and out of the community. I have seen the effort that many have put in to put on some of these events ; and often with not much appreciation ( except within their ranks) and with very little resources. Yet somehow they pull it off and money is raised.
San Francisco’s Prince Royale JP L:eddy and Princess Royale Megan Pixel
I have also grown to love and admire those in my court and considered it a privilege to have served with them. I thank Alan for trusting me enough to ask me to serve. I thank Kylie , our grand Duchess for her( his) support. I also thank the members of the Ducal Council who have maintained and developed the Ducal Council to be an effective agent for good in the community.
I hope that if you see a sponsored event in a bar or a venue , you will donate a dollar or two. The money will go to a charity that needs your help.
I learned that service from the heart begins with action. Action comes with giving.
The scene: I am at 440, a gay bar in the Castro District in San Francisco. I admit that I already had a few drinks. I was up at the upper level section of the bar. I had already engaged in conversation with some guys. We were all standing on the go go boy dancing platform. That night there was no dancing. It gives us a great view of the entire bottom floor and who is coming in and out of the bar. Perfect viewing and often entertaining.
Then this handsome young guy comes up to me and starts talking to me. He knows some of the guys in the small group I am attached to at that moment. He and I start some flirtatious banter. There seems to be some connection. He has gotten my attention. We are both relying on some sarcasm and humor to move our conversation along. There is a touch here and there. Definite interest. We are both what my best friend will call “Roosters.” Another word for alpha male personalities and in the gay world makes for an interesting dynamic. Sometimes from my experience it can be really hot and then sometimes it can be disastrous.
We talked about our jobs. I asked him what he did for a living and he told me he was a Spanishteacher. Well, I am familiar with teachers . My LTR of 11 years was a teacher and so was my ex-wife ( that’s another story). Then he told me he was being paid by the older gentleman behind me as an escort. I thought teacher pay was bad but…
Anyway, I immediately told me , well I am not a potential customer. His name was Chris and told me that he was not interested in me becoming a customer and wanted to see me again. All I could think, was “Why me?” Of course it would be the cute Spanish teacher and gay escort who would like me.
What will happen? Nothing is my prediction. Just another crazy encounter in the Castro.
It was just the icing on a full day of different experiences that sometimes finds me as a single guy in the gayest neighborhood in the world.
I was at Badlands just before then to meet up with someone I met online who had been texting me to meet him. I was late , I admitted, because I actually spending some time with a dear friend at the Midnight Sun who needed to talk to me about some problems. I made sure he knew that. Well, of course I got to Badlands and could not find him and tried to text him. Then I got asked to dance by this guy so I did. I checked again for the other guy after dancing to Rihanna and Gaga numbers. No luck. Ok…flake alert.
Earlier, I did have a drink with this other guy who I met, who was a photographer. He was really nice and I enjoyed his company. We had a lot in common. I am not sure yet if this has potential to go any further or if it will simply be a “just friends” thing.
Okay so let me fast forward to the later evening where I made it home ( which is less than 3 blocks from all of these venues). For those who live in the neighborhood and who subscribe to certain “meet up” sites, there is a certain hour on most nights and mostly on weekends when the activity reaches a friendly, especially for people who want to hook up.
I was watching the my DVR recording of the London Olympics , when texts started coming of various requests for some “fun” times. One request came from someone I thought was really nice. So after some exchanges, he came over to my place. Well, he started to tell me about his recent break up with his boyfriend. An hour later… He was still talking and I had totally lost interest. I actually started watching the Olympics on my TV. He then finally got the hint and said, ” Well, I guess I better go catch the bus, right?” I answered, ” Right.”
Then as I was going back to watch the Olympics, I got 2 messages with very interesting pictures and invitations. I decided to eat some cookies instead and watch some men’s swimming finals.
Last night , I attended the memorial service of Charles Carr. He passed away suddenly this week from a heart attack. He was one of the more familiar faces I have known in the Castro District over the years here in San Francisco. We were not close friends. We always said Hi to each other and once in a while had friendly conversation. He was close friends with some mutual friends of ours and he even dated one my one my closest friends years ago. I will always remember his smile. I usually saw him either at the Midnight Sun and always , always at the Mix.
His passing impacted me. I found out when I saw his makeshift memorial tribute on the corner of 18th and Castro set up the other night. I could not believe he was gone. There is something when a Castro local passes away. There is a gaping hole in the community. We all feel it. Especially when a sweet, loving, fun man like Charles leaves us.
The memorial service at the Mix was filled with both laughter, sadness, warmth and the deepest sense of community. Charles brought us together. How poignant it was to see and hear his sisters speak. Tears flowed when his father spoke about the love he had for his son. I think many of us ( especially gay men) were touched by a father who expressed hope that his gay son knew how much he was loved by his father.
Charles life was celebrated by love, humor and beautiful music. Balloons were set off into the beautiful sky with messages by all his friends and loved ones with messages written to him on them. It was a beautiful sight.
Those attending the memorial were urged to look at each other and to remember each other , cherish each other, and express love to each other. Each moment in life together is precious. We raised our glasses and toasted Charles. We toasted his life. It was a pure, sacred moment.
There was a candlelight vigil that followed. I did not stay for that. There was so much to reflect on and my emotions were raw. I saw some close friends and talked to a couple of friends on the phone that evening. That night seeing and /or hearing their voices meant more to me than ever before.
As I walked back to my home, a memory came into my mind, Charles walking down the sidewalk saying , ” Hi JP. Just going to the Mix.” Then Smiling.
Saying goodbye to a dear friend who is moving away can almost simulate a mourning of sorts. You know certain things are coming to an end. The daily contacts, the face to face interactions, and a lot of shared experiences will all cease.
Aidy Cody Smith
When it is one of your dearest friends, the feelings are poignant and no matter how much you put up a brave front, it is sad in many ways.
However, despite the sadness , I am grateful that the experience of this past year has given me a friendship that will last a lifetime. There are only a handful of these kind of friends in my life. These are people who are not brothers by blood but brothers of the heart. In my native Chamorro, the word for ”My brother” is ” Chelu-hu”. Aidy Cody Smith is my Chelu-hu.
Who would think this young guy who I met at a Chamber of Commerce of meeting would become one of my closest confidants? He is like a younger brother and has more heart than most people I know. He also has more self confidence than a lot of people ( which I do like to pick on him about in jest). He can get a little cocky in a good humored way.
JP Leddy and Aidy Cody Smith
I was able to share his coming out process and see him enter this new world where he began to navigate his authentic life. We have shared many experiences together and I have been honored that he has trusted me enough to be part of it all. Despite his youth, he has been a real friend to me and has not hesitated to give me his two cents on anything in my life. Yep, no filter at all!
Well, he does talk a lot. I am not sure if that is a Brit thing. Most people are enamored with his Brit accent. After a while of him going on, and on and on…it starts to sound like cackling to me. Ha!
Someone likes chips – Aidy Cody Smith
Like brothers we have seen the best and worst of ourselves. We have argued and angered each other. We have supported each other. We have had each other’s back on whom we have chosen to date or laughed out loud at our choices. We also forgave each other quickly and usually end up laughing soon after about it. Loyalty is a given.
Aidy Cody Smith
He listens well to me, unless he gets a notification from Grindr. Yes, that is his favorite application. He does more blocking then texting though on it. He does not like big noses among other things. His type of men are mostly Bel Ami model looking guys ( mostly Americans) and certain latino types. Sometimes he breaks out of type if he gets really drunk, but regrets it later. He does not like smokers as potential dating or make out partners.
Aidy Cody Smith Ready to dance
He loves attention but does not like guys manhandling him like he is some play object, well guys that he is not attracted to , at least. Who does, anyway?
We both like to drink. He got me to like Pear Cider beer and Vodka Soda with 4 lemons. We have ended up eating ( too many times), after bar hopping at Orphan Andys or at La Tortilla. Earlier we have satisfied the munchies at the Dancing Pig or the Dim Sum place. We love La Taza Cafe for brunch on weekends.
In business, we have networked together and enjoyed developing business relationships with some of the best in San Francisco. He has been one of the most professional and good connectors I have seen in the business community. We have been to so many networking events. I know many of our mutual colleagues will miss him.
He has let me know that Shepherd’s Pie is to die for , despite my initial bad eating experience with it in the past at some place in Oregon. He insists with royal ire that I was not given a proper one. He does not like Londoners and certain foreigners who have settled in his country ( well the ones who cause trouble). He cusses more than any sailor on any ship in the U.S. Navy. He loves the word that rhymes with “truck.”
I have more rantings in text from him about his daily commute on the MUNI that will fill a book of raunchy humor. It typically makes my day to know he is being tortured on his daily ride. I know I am such a good friend, right?!? < blink, blink>.
When he was a child , he was a child actor in a public television children’s show in the UK. Here is a clip. He is the boy called Joey.
He still is a bit dramatic. I am sure he will end up doing some theater or film someday. Maybe even drag…just kidding, Aidy. Or Maybe not.
He helped the Ducal Court of San Francisco so much this year with float building and actually walked in the pride parade draped in the English flag. He is a hard worker. He did this as a favor to me but he also did it because he genuinely cared about the cause. He also loved the attention.
He loves the nightclubs like Badlands and the Lookout in the Castro. He also likes to hangout at the Toad Hall for drinks.
Along with others , he does not mind sunning out in Dolores Park and enjoying the eye candy. Hell, he loves the eye candy everywhere. Some of my friends, teasingly call him, “A.D.D.” Well, if you ever watch him at a club cruising, he is like a squirrel being distracted from one hot guy to another, like nuts ( no pun intended). Actually , that sounds like every red blooded gay guy in the Castro.
Aidy Cody Smith and JP Leddy
This has been such a hard piece to write and it has been difficult for me to get below the surface to really express how much I am going to miss my friend. I have had the opportunity to meet his sister, to learn more about his father and to chat with his mother. It has given me a better view of Aidy as a person. He is a good son and that has translated to being a good man and ultimately a good friend.
Aidy Cody Smith ” Cheers”
I am going to miss the daily texts to see if I want to go to Happy Hour. I am going to miss the hours I have to wait while he fiddles with his hair or waiting for him to catch the MUNI bus home. I am going to miss taking the cab with him to my street corner before he heads home. I am going to miss enjoying the lines the guys use on him when they hit on him at the bars. I also will miss his quiet commentary to me about them, while I try to control my laughter.
I am going to miss him lecturing me about some guy I took home or me lecturing him about his trysts. I am going to miss our long discussions about life, business and the Universe. I am going to miss his over drenching use of cologne. I am going to miss us gobbling down Cafe Flore’s Mac and Cheese. I am going to miss our code names for people like Shamu and Tomatoe. I am going to miss dancing at Badlands and watching him do his out of sync Brit boogie.
I am going to miss our times with John and Herb on Sundays at the Lookout or with Lance and Rufin out in the town. This is too much and I feel like my heart cannot take one more friend leaving the bay area.
Aidy Cody Smith- Goofy humor
Okay, I was able to take a long break and can now write again.
Aidy Cody Smith and JP Leddy at San Francisco Pride Parade 2012
Miles are not barriers to the strength of a friendship as long as hearts are beating. Aidy, my Chelu-hu, my brother, I am so thankful you are and will always be part of my life. I hope one day you will return as you dream to live in this great city again. However, what I wish most for you is happiness in life, the love of someone who will fill your heart with joy, and health that will give you a long, fulfilling life.
