The Man You Had In Mind


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Still relevant today, James Tuchschmidt’s 2006 documentary “The Man You Had in Mind” explores the relationship stories of five gay couples in Oregon. It is shot with such simplicity and honesty that it catches the core essence of these relationships that are universal with their heterosexual counterparts. It also captures those things that are unique, especially when living under the shadow of an unaccepting society.

What is also moving in this film is to hear the stories about these couples through their friends and families. We often forget that they also have taken the journey with them.

The couples cover relationships barely a year old to one spanning 51 years. The film does not preach but it unveils the underlying truth through the lives of these men that their love of each other is real and ultimately valid.

The music with the same name as the film title plays as a backdrop through several parts of the film is by out musician Eric Himan.

I recommend it to anyone, gay or straight, to rent it and watch. Hopefully, it will bring more understanding.


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