I remember when my friends Bryan Gardiner and Matt Siegal, left the Bay Area a few years ago back to Baltimore.  It was one of the hardest changes in my life simply because they were such dear friends.  So much of my life’s activities where shared with them.  They were family and brothers to me.

To top it off, I was about to go through major life transitions of my own and their absence only left the emptiness larger and deeper.  I remember some moments after their departure just crying when I was alone.  Despite the brave front publicly, it took everything I did to maintain my composure.

Time has passed and we still keep in contact and nothing has changed in terms of the depth of our friendship, just the amount of personal contact. So the memories of our time together are more cherished, even the smallest simple detail.

Now I see myself going through the same process with a dear friend who will be leaving.  As much as I am trying to be positive, I know my emotions are raw and I can see them bubble up, not only in terms  of tears, but sometimes in numbness, some anger and even some emotional disconnect.

It is hard when loved ones leave you.

It is the knowledge that daily interactions will cease  and when you have a deep friendship, that is sometimes hard to deal with for me.   Sometimes it makes me  feel that I can’t keep getting close to people like this in my life.  Of course, that is a cop out. I would not trade the experiences and the friendship that he or  my closest friends have given me  in my life.

But saying goodbye is part of life.  I know I will see this friend, this brother again. However, a very special chapter is closing in my life.  So the tears will come.  I just need to be grateful and consider myself blessed.

He will understand this:  JASP lives on!

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