In the gay world my younger friends love to throw words at me sometimes ( in their attempt to tease or insult me) like ” Daddy” , “Grandpa“, “Old Man” like they were bad words. Partly it is a reflection of the broader youth obsessed culture we live in and also it is magnified several times over in the gay culture, where we still live out of the mainstream and struggle with our own dysfunctionalities in our community.
However, those same words don’t bring me sadness or hurt, but bring me joy in my life and on this day that celebrates Fatherhood, they are very poignant to me. Yes, I was married with four children when I came out. I have written other posts about that and will not speak to that here.
What I will speak to is this wonderful gift to be a father to my four children : Annette, Rachel, Andrew and Clarissa. I remember holding each of them the day of their births. I look back to those wonderful moments. There is nothing that can describe what it feels like to hold these beautiful babies in your arms and to know they are yours. I remember the weight of responsibility I felt to provide for them but to also love them. It did not feel like a burden but this unconditional desire to make sure they were taken care of , protected and just given the the best I could give them.
Each of them had their own personalities. Nothing can replace reading stories to them in bed, the scene of a house filled with toys strewn everywhere, the hugs daddy got when coming home from work, the many crayon original art drawings of daddy/dogs/cats, the Daddy/kids Disney movie dates, the soccer games of each of them with Dad screaming at every goal they made, the tickle wrestles on the floor, playing catch at the park, Daddy breakfast time, and the list goes on.
Even after the divorce, as difficult as that was and with some adjustment, the bond with my children has become stronger than ever. They are always in my life and I am in their lives . There have all grown up now.
What happens when you are a young dad is that you become a young grandfather. I have two of the most beautiful grandchildren. What is funny, is that I do not feel old at all.
Today, my children send me cards and give me calls to wish me Happy Father’s Day. Often people ask me what does it feel like to be a gay dad. I think, well it probably feels the same as being a straight dad. One difference is maybe is that some in the gay community may tease me that it is detrimental to be a daddy or grandpa. They never have gotten it so wrong. I have never had more joy in my life, more love and fulfillment because of my children and grandchildren.
Today I celebrate having them in my life…they are the center of my heart.
For your information, my dating and love life are going strong as ever. Just saying.
Happy Father’s Day To Me!
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Great article full of sentiment towards your children. It is truly great to be a father a true gift from the Lord. I will not enter into the gay discussion as I am sure you know the Word of God’s view in regards and of course my thought is in line with it.
What I wanted to lovingly share with you my friend is that you could only be blessed with children through a man and woman relationship because that is how God designed it.
Thanks for visiting my blog and may the Lord bless you and your lovely family.
Yours in Christ
alton
Alton, Thanks for reading my post and for your hearltfelt words.
JP
Your daughters are simply beautiful. All have been blessed…often through adversity it can change the dynamics of our interpersonal relationships. I congratulate on being the Daddy…worthy of commendation. I also wanted to thank you for mentioning my poem
Peace and blessings to you all
Rays of Light, you are so welcome. Thank you!
JP
Yes, JP, Happy Father’s Day to you and many many more to come! You have a lot to be happy about and proud of so celebrate life just as you’re doing!
Jerry,
Thanks so much. As always, I appreciate your kind words.
JP