It is funny when someone asks me who I am and I answer I am someone’s boyfriend, father, son, friend or employee. I define myself in terms of what I do or my place in relationship to others. Over the years, I thought I was losing myself in the service of others but I was simply losing myself. True service comes with a strong awareness of self. When self is lost, the service has become servitude.
In relationships, compromising what you truly need even though you believe you are doing it on behalf of someone you love will not enhance your relationship but only eat away at it. Martyring away your core self is not an act of sainthood but a suicide of the soul.
What a harsh lesson to learn after so much investment of time and love. There is now this chasm with the person you love and the wounds are deep. However, the first step is to find yourself…that person you lost.
That finding process must take priority and whatever healing takes place will follow. Tears and regret will be part of the process but the re-discovery will be worth it.