“When I’m with him I’m confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
He’s as flighty as a feather
He”s a darling! He”s a demon! He”s a lamb!

He’d outpester any pest
He could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
He is gentle! He is wild!
He’s a riddle! He’s a child!
He’s a headache! He’s an angel!

How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

He’s Joey!”

Taking these famous lyrics from that song about the character of Maria in the musical, The Sound of Music and changing it up describes one of my dearest friends, Joey.

I have been meaning to write about this wonderful tornado of a human being that has come into my life through my best friend, Chris.  The amended lyrics above describes him a lot.


He is a free spirit that not only marches to the beat of a different drummer but to a whole different set of different musical instruments created in a planet in a galaxy far far away. That is why I love him.

The first time I met him, he walked into a bar in the Castro District of San Francisco and just bounced ( literally) up to almost every customer and engaged them in some sort of spontaneous conversation or exclamation. He hugged random people.  He shouted out “Shaddup!”  He  turned a mundane scene into a Mad Hatter’s Tea Party! It was wonderful chaos.


I have never seen my best friend, Chris, go from over the top laughter to that kind of loving mad that he gets when he he thinks Joey has cross the line. You can tell they have a friendship built over many years that is cemented forever. It has been earned.

Joey and I hit it off immediately.  Yes, he added a kind of chaotic fun to our weekends. Yes, he is able to get away with things with people using his good looks and over the top personality. Yes, he does crazy things like swinging on a vine on a tree like Tarzan in the middle of San Francisco into a car several times, just because. Yes, he is unabashed about how he loves sex with men and talks about masturbation like how he talks about he drinking coffee every morning.  Yes, he has done crazy things like taken pictures of my naked behind when I was asleep…. and more. Yes, he gets thrilled by outfits he can create from shopping sprees to thrift stores. Yes, Yes, Yes, there is sooooo much more.


This topsy turvy upside down cake Joey is wonderful.  However the Joey that I know and love best is the one whose heart is bigger than all of us.

Joey has been through a lot in his life and has come out of it really appreciating life in a deeply spiritual way. When he talks about these things he expresses such love for his friends and family.  He is so deeply loyal to who he loves and is protective of them.  Don’t cross who Joey loves, he is not one who stands down.

In all his play and game, Joey is a seeker of happiness and the real parts of his  life that bring him joy is what he values. That is why spending time with his good friends brings him the most satisfaction and the experiences with them the most meaning.

He has such depth of soul and that is why he is my friend.  So despite what people see on the surface. Joey is one of  the most caring and wonderful guys I know. I am glad this whirling dervish out of  whirl is in my life.