First, I was married to a woman. Yes….that is a long story. Then, I finally came to terms that I was gay and I came out. That was the first time I struck out on love. Then I met this guy name Mark. He was tall, dark and handsome…and a liar. Well, that did not last long. Strike Two. Then I met the love of my life. Something happened after all these years together. He did not see me the same way any more. He still loved me but things had changed. It was not enough. Strike Three.
Is long lasting love possible? Can I even go up and try to swing that bat again? Do I even want to try? Playing the field at my age again and seeing even men younger than me do it, is laughable at times. Who are we kidding? It is like this big dance of who gets who into bed with the hottest – but to what end?
I have seen more drama to fill a soap opera schedule for several seasons since I have been back in the scene again. It makes finding love harder than finding a needle in a haystack. Most of my friends just want to find a one night thrill. In reality, that seems so much easier. However, no one seems to be really happy.
Am I that cynical? Truthfully? No. I am just battle worn. I know I am better when I am with just one person in a dedicated relationship where I feel loved and could give love. I want to be in that place again.
However after striking out three times, it is really hard to believe I can get there soon. I need some time in the batting cage.
Like Yogi Bera said: ” The game isn’t over until it’s over.”