Love has so many layers and so many meanings to different people. It also changes meaning depending on the type of relationship you have whether it be family, friend or lover.
In a lover relationship ( married or not), love can strengthen, ebb up and down over time, and in some ways weaken. In my own experience, this past year, my own relationship changed because love changed at least at first for one of us and then for both of us.
A funny thing about love in a lover setting is that when it changes it is often not an easy thing and there is pain associated with it. However, after acceptance of the change there is also healing and then movement forward.
However, there was a time I did not want to invest in that kind of love again. Perhaps the memory of the pain was still fresh. Perhaps I just thought I did not believe it anymore. Perhaps I felt that I could never allow myself to be that vulnerable again.
However, my recent trip home showed me that love is worth the pursuit no matter one’s age or failure at it. I have seen examples in other people’s lives and in their relationships. I know at my core that I desire a relationship based on love. The single life certainly has it’s pluses but I know that sharing my life with someone really enriches my life.
It seems like I am finally beginning to settle into some normalcy after frankly being in a whirlwind, chaotic time adjusting back into single life and literally grieving in my own way. So maybe I am on the road to finally finding love again or it finding me. In the meanwhile I like to enjoy the journey.