2011 for me has personally started on a good note. I have been taking care of myself better especially in terms of eating better, not drinking and really learning to slow down the urgency of things in my life . This includes the emotional side, in terms of my personal life.

I truly want to be in a relationship that is fully what I want it to be and, more importantly, what I need it to be.  However,  I do not need to rush into anything.  I simply need to be.  In the meanwhile, I need to let things take their course and simply have an open heart.

My ex-partner has been trying to reconcile with me under some new arrangement with our relationship.  However, there are things in that arrangement I am simply not comfortable with and there are also still some emotional scars that need healing before even considering those options.  However, we are in a better place than ever before and he is a good man whom I love very much.  I am not sure where our journey will end but I am glad it is at place of caring rather than  in a place that is dark.

As for alternatives, I really have none.  There have been others that I have considered but none have really developed.  I realized that my own expectations have changed and that the pool of men that I find in most of my social circles may not really be the best candidates for long term relationships.

It is amazing what clarity comes forth without the haze of alcohol.

I am at peace about it all.  I know that real love takes time to be found and developed.  In the meanwhile , I am enjoying this period of loving myself.  It has been a long time coming.

There are moments when I am alone with my thoughts and all I can hear is my breathing , and then  there is this wave of gratefulness that comes over me for the full life I have had and do have now.  I have been able to enjoy loving relationships in my life.  I actually am privileged to be a father.  I have a great job.  I have a wonderful family.  I have dear friends.

Today I simply like to express, that all is good.

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