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There are certain events that transpire that finally open your eyes and you finally let go of the few strands of what was once something in your life and heart. For the very first time you feel free to really move on.

What surprises me is that I thought I had already moved on.  For the most part, I did,  but I guess when  you break up an eleven year relationship with the love of your life, the residual emotions take time to completely leave your body. That was a little over two years ago.  Some small emotional threads remained.  Some hurts still were buried deep. They were the reasons why in some cases I felt stuck.  I just could not move on completely.

That all changed at the end of 2012.  Those threads were ripped from me. Powerfully. It took an horrific event to do it.  It was painful. It brought forth a watershed I had not experienced in many months.  It was cleansing. The remaining shackles in my heart were unlocked.  I found me because I faced me with no filters.

I had dated and tried to maintain a couple of relationships since my break up  but I have not been successful. I was not ready and also because they were not right for me.  When your heart is not in the right place, you do not attract the right people.  They can be good people but they are not right ones  for your authentic self. You have to be your authentic self  and be completely available.

I shared all this with one of my dearest friends a couple of days ago and he knew that I needed to come to this conclusion and saw my struggle over these past couple of years.  It has been evolving over the last six months.

I see myself letting go of some things and rediscovering other things of my life that I want to do.

I also am going to  strive to meet individuals to date, get to know and perhaps find someone to have a relationship again with…I am open to it.  Now, I really believe it and want to do it.

I also  will be participating in more diverse activities in my life and have new experiences.

It is time to move on, to really move on, and leave the past behind, and live my life.

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