My Shirl – Chris


His birthday just passed and I have been meaning to write about my best friend, Chris.  Why do I call him Shirl? We have described our friendship like the 70’s sitcom characters Laverne and Shirley.  We have been in enough adventures to make a sitcom actually, my blog has recorded some of them.

With his signature baseball cap and his “All American Boy Next Door Good Looks”, my BFF can work a room of Gay Boys.  He is just one of those guys that is able to attract them like bugs to a light at night.  They swarm to him.

Best friends JP and Chris

It can be a real positive for him and then sometimes it can be a real negative for him.  There have been times when he has looked at me , and mouthed silently, “Help!”   I have literally grabbed him and we escaped a bar because he has caught the attention of 4 or 5 guys trying to woo him.

Although he does have a bit of a player in him, he actually is more of that guy who can’t say no  because he likes the attention.

He also is genuinely nice. So when he whips that smile out and looks at people with his eyes sometimes they mistake it for more and misread him…then drama happens.

I have never seen  guys obsessed over someone more than over my best friend, Chris, then anyone before in my life.  I don’t understand the phenomenon and someone should do a study.  I don’t know if his freckles ( thousands of them ) secrete a certain spray that puts them in a trance.  I have seen some guys act like those salmon in their yearly spawning frenzy on the National Geographic shows that I watched on TV.

He has more text per hour that come in on his phone.  His eyes go wide every time they do and then he tells me a name.  I cannot even keep up.  It is usually Latino.  His favorite type of man.

Chris and some of the boys!

My best friend enjoys contacting his “dates”  online.  He is totally unabashed about it and I think it is great.  It is the 21st century and if anyone wants to get self righteous about it they can kiss our blooming asses.  He also tells me he is on a date with Adam if he is online.

Chris in his cap

Bottom line, my bff loves men. I can vouch that he his a good guy with a good heart.  I have only seen him in love once. It will take a special person to win his heart.  It does not happen with a one night stand or meeting him at bar or if he looks at you and smiles.  So if you ever get his attention or sleep with him…don’t read into it more than that!  If he does not respond to you do not go berserk or throw yourself off a bridge.  Come on, please, go find another guy.

Now on to more important things.

This friend has really grown to be like a brother to me.  He reminds me a lot of my real brothers.  He is simple and very down to earth.  He is a beer drinking guy who loves his Mustang.  He loves his mom.  I know he loves his dad too.

He is a Deli Manager at Safeway and his good at his job.  He has won commendations for keeping his department in tip top shape.  I have found it is more than making sandwiches.

He has been there for me through some of the worst times of my life.  He checks up on me and will drop everything to make sure I was alright.   However, I have learned to not talk to him about serious stuff if he is cruising at the bar…he is A.D.D. there.

He does the best pursed lip impressions ever.  We love Starbucks in the morning to chat about our shenanigans of the previous night….sometimes leaving them at his apartment.   Yes…we have done that.

We will call each other and just laugh without saying anything first.

We run away from Spidaa’s.  Read this post to learn about them:

Beware of Spidaas – The Creepies You Do Not Want to Date or Do!

We love this place in the Mission for Indian food.  We like the Cafe and the Bench and Bar for the Latino Boys.  We love Toad Hall.  He loves the Edge. I don’t. I like 440.  He does not.

He likes to eat at chain restaurants.  He does not like musicals. He saw Wicked on stage.  He thought the first part was slow but loved the second part.

Besides working out, he has daily routine that includes enough product to fill a shelf in a department store.  He has this lovely green facial mask that he puts on. He looks like the Joker.

He laughs when someone farts and he loves to belch.  He smokes like a chimney.  He always asks me how he looks after he changes his outfit 500 times.

We have laughed together.  We have had crazy adventures together.  We have seen men come and go in our lives. We have argued together.  However, Laverne and Shirley have survived.

I would not have it any other way!

Happy birthday, you freckled face mess!   I love ya, bro!

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