One of the interesting things about entering the dating scene after years of being out of it and after a hurtful end to long term relationship is how this whole notion of love re-enters the picture or anything like it.   It is certainly easier just to meet and get physically connected with individuals but when real emotional intimacy starts to emerge then it gets difficult.

A great friend of mine who is an expert on relationships and dating has started to help me bridge the gap. I have been skeptical and even cynical. I guess my heart has been battle worn.   My view also of what has been out there has been filtered only but what I have allowed in my life ( in my case , just certain elements of the gay community).  I guess it is has been part of the normal process of grieving the loss of a relationship and a love.  I have been through the gamut and have let it out of my system.

Now, my heart is open.  Now it is trying to trust.

My friend has taught me to accept love is to expect it.  Often after a relationship ends, something happens in our subconscious that we set up ourselves to believe that it is no longer attainable for us or that we no longer deserve it.  It is simply focusing on affirming that love is possible again and that we do deserve it, that somehow becomes transformative on how we think and act.

Also,  as I have started to date and really get to know the people better, I have learned to open my heart more.  I have been able to enjoy moments of tenderness and intimacy that have made me believe that love is possible.  I am feeling human again in that wonderful kind of way.

When I think of accepting love again,  I think of accepting myself as I truly am.  I find that there is a certain peace and happiness about that.

I also find that I don’t yearn for love but I simply am excited to meet each day with the possibility of  experiencing it.  It is knowing who you are and what you want.

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