What is good sometimes about being under the weather for a couple of days and being stuck at home is having time to think. There is something really great about taking the clutter and distraction out of one’s mind. You find yourself getting centered. Your body heals and in some ways your soul does, also.
In this month when romantic love is celebrated and will crescendo on February 14th, I admit wholeheartedly that my search most of my life has been for that wonderful love. I have had a couple of great love affairs in my life. They did not last. One ended because I came out. Yes, it was with a woman and there was love, but it can only go so far when you are a gay man. However, it was still a great love affair that lasted many years.
The second was with a man. This was truly the love affair of my life where I was living my authentic self. It also lasted for may years. However, like many loves that are not nurtured properly, they can break. Ours did. So did my heart. It has taken a while for mine to mend after that one.
There have been others where my heart was there for them but theirs were not for me. Others were for me but mine were not for them. It can be frustrating, this quest where you are trying to find love that is mutual that grows into something beautiful and long lasting.
Then there are the others who are simply casual encounters to fill in the loneliness or the physical need to be with another person. It is all on a physical plane which is not bad but it is so temporary.
Then there is the love of self. This is the one that I have worked on the most lately and have come to the best place at in my life. During these past couple of days, I realized that I am more at peace with who I am than ever before. This has made me more open to what may lie ahead as to that love of another.
Was is really funny, is that I am not anxious for romantic love. It is more this feeling that I am ready to explore it , if the opportunity presents itself. In the meanwhile, Valentines’ Day may just mean a box of chocolates for me from me…and that’s all right. My own love affair.
- What is love? (estify.wordpress.com)
- Mindfulness is a love affair… (namasteconsultinginc.com)
- You Can’t Put A Ring On It (tasithoughts.wordpress.com)
- I ❤ Valentine’s Day ? (thebroadhouse.com)
- the end of a love affair (labakoniantoni.wordpress.com)
- A Love Affair (collectingyourself.wordpress.com)
- My Love Affair with Fall RTW (prettylittlepauper.wordpress.com)
- Love, rejection, and poetry (a.k.a. a heart, a wall, and vulnerabilty) (julieannesmith.wordpress.com)
- Gifts on Valentine’s Day (socyberty.com)