March 24, 2013 · 11:12 am

Why Do We March?


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This week the United States Supreme Court will hear two cases regarding marriage equality, more specifically for same sex couples.  One case focuses on California’s Prop 8.  That case will start to be heard on Tuesday, March 26th.   The second case will be heard on Wednesday, March 27th and will focus on the constitutionality of DOMA, the Defense of Marriage Act.

Although both cases pertain to the LGBT community, the overarching theme of equality affects all Americans.

Polls show that Americans at large are in more in favor of marriage equality than ever before and more and more states have been adopting it.

In San Francisco , this Monday , March 25th, supporters of marriage equality are asked to join in a march from the Castro to City Hall. Here are the details:

San Francisco’s March4Equality on March 25 is part of an historic nation-wide movement in support of marriage equality and equal protection under the law. As the U.S. Supreme Court hears the Prop 8 & DOMA cases on March 26 and 27, Americans across the United States will be coming out to rally and march in their own towns. Spread the word to your friends across the country: a list of actions can be found at http://lighttojustice.org/

HOW YOU CAN HELP:
1) SHOW UP AND MARCH! The best way to volunteer is to JOIN US on March 25 at 6:30 in the Castro. San Francisco has always taken a leadership role in the fight for equality, so we want to make a powerful statement to the world with a strong showing on the streets of San Francisco.
2) SPREAD THE WORD: Invite your friends and family to join us in SF on March 25 for the rally and march from Castro and Market to City Hall. Share the news on Facebook, Twitter, email, and other social media, and encourage your friends to share through their own social networks.
3) MAKE SIGNS: While we will have some printed signs on hand for the march, nothing makes an impact like homemade signs that express your ideas in your own words. Let’s flood Market Street with our messages!
4) VOLUNTEER: We can use help at the march, particularly with set-up (5:30 p.m. at Castro and Market) and clean-up. For more info email march4equality.volunteer@gmail.com.

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Why do we march?

There is no greater gift then to be equal under the law in a free society.  If any citizen is treated lesser than an other under the law then,  we as a whole citizenry, stand in jeopardy of losing all of our rights. Equal must be equal. There is no compromise.  Marriage Equality is not simply a gay issue, it is an issue about the very core of our constitution and the rights that it guarantees the citizens whose mandate it covers.

In terms of the LGBT community,  this is part of the long journey out of countless closets,   family rejections,  criminal accusations, bullying attacks, job discrimination, societal disdain , and being the throw aways of a bigoted majority.  This march is also a celebration and a solemn recognition of the thousands that have gone before us, who fought discrimination, who died at the hands of bigotry,  who risked life and limb to fight for the causes we are now so close to winning.   This is for the Harvey Milks and the Michael Shepherds who marked the way.   These are for the thousands who passed away too soon and too quickly.  This is for those men and women who served secretly in our armed forces with honor and bravery.

Once equality wins in America for the LGBT community, it will pour into the rest of the world.

We march hand in hand,  Gay, Lesbian, Bi, Trans, Queer, Questioning, Straight ,  all citizens of this great country and this world.   It is about standing up for what is right  and what binds us together. This is not about separation and division . It is about union and the grand one purpose of equality.

There is something sacred about this march.  It represents the hopes and dreams of  generations past, the generation now and all those in the future.

Let’s all march together and make history happen.

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March 20, 2013 · 2:48 pm

Oz – The Great and Powerful – Not So Much


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Oz- The Great and Powerful is one of those films that has the makings of becoming a great classic and yet it does not quite get there.  It has some moments , some very good ones.  However, as a whole, it fizzles into  something that is just alright and does not match the high standard that Disney has made for itself.  The movie certainly does not live up to the iconic film it is carved from.

I was entertained during parts of it but there were parts that moved slowly. James Franco shone in certain parts of the film, also, but in other areas , he came across contrived ,  which I am beginning to believe was due to the limitations of the material.  It was as if the full potential of the layered and deep acting he was capable of was being hampered.

The movie was pretty to look at.

Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz and Michelle Williams as the three witches also gave various levels of performances that each have bright moments and yet the story is not woven in such a way to really bring the layered depth , that I think the movie was trying to portray.  Again, a waste of great talent.

I was hoping that the Oz’s companions the monkey and china doll would be as endearing as Dorthy’s Lion , Scarecrow and Tin Man.  They were not.  Yes, they were cute but they did not capture our hearts.

What this movie desperately needed was a center.  It needed a heart.

Unfortunately, it did not find it on the yellow brick road at the final edit cut.

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March 16, 2013 · 9:21 am

Requiem- A Survivor’s Story Out Of Madness – A Must Read


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It has been some time since I read a book that I could not put down,  Requiem- A Memoir of Sex, Madness, and Self Destruction by author, Fredy Espinoza is that book.  It is a true story. It is his story.  A lot of it rooted here in the bay area.

It is deeply layered centering on the story of a young gay, Latino boy with a mother suffering from severe paranoid schizophrenia. The writing is raw and so vivid, it brings you into the emotional turmoil quickly.  The entrapment that is felt by the author and the destruction that happens to the family is palpable as they grapple with a mother with destructive mental illness.  They love her  but she has made their house a living hell.  Mixed into this are some of the religious mores, superstitions and ignorance that only makes the problem worse.  The reference that the Devil is in their house runs through the book.

You watch , through Fredy’s words, all his efforts  trying to maintain a perfect family outside picture, while dealing with a a very closeted identity and also trying to maintain the sanity of an insane household situation.  The heaviness of that emotional and psychological burden shatters on him in so many ways and it reflects on his decisions and actions throughout his life.

Author- Fredy Espinosa

Author- Fredy Espinosa

I have never seen the dysfunctionality of the American Dream portrayed so well in the personal life of a minority person who is drowning in self  hatred as he perceives his identity as naught.  Fueled by the issues at home and the image of his family, while perceiving the predominantly white American family has something better.  The images become supernatural and are carried throughout the book.  One of his coping mechanisms is another persona that is confident and strong, and also white with an anglo name.

This dis-attachment to his true self was how Fredy coped with such a traumatic home life.   When he did come out and made first steps to accept his sexuality , his father threw him out of the house. His mother was institutionalized. A brother jailed for a very horrendous act.  Fredy was homeless.

The stories are almost unbelievable as I read them.  I literally wept.

Another survival tool he used was sex and was able to sometimes simply get off the streets for the night by simply having  one night stands.  He temporarily felt sexual power over men and some control using his natural beauty.  It was only temporary and again he always was left wanting and self-absorbed.  It also led to other self-destructive behaviors.

However, Fredy’s journey was also about desperately needed acceptance.  He was always worried about what people thought and that he was in the “in” crowd. It permeates throughout the story.  With some men , he quickly fell in love with them and found out later , in such a devastating way, that they did not really care for him the same way.  Such rejection both set him back but also helped propel him to get out of this pattern.

The sex scenes in the book are pretty graphic but are not exploitative.  You really get a sense of the role sex played in Fredy’s journey to self-actualization.

Fredy does learn to love himself.   It is comes after such a horrendous and hellish path, I have simply given a very broad stroke of the rich story this book entails. Requiem is a testament to the strength and courage of the human spirit , that we can choose to not be controlled by how we grew up or what happened to us, but we can use those experiences and embrace them to become the best person we can be in all we do.  It is also shows that we can truly love who we are as we are and that we deserve love.

Fredy Espinosa is a great voice for his generation and great writer.

Please read this book.  You will be thinking about it , long after you have read the last chapter.

Note:  Fredy Espinosa is an aspiring screenwriter living in Los Angeles and is working to making this book a film.

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March 6, 2013 · 12:47 pm

The Music of Craig Cavanagh


Craig Cavanagh

Craig Cavanagh

One of the ways social media can be powerful is how you can discover music and the artists behind the music from across the world in a very intimate and personal way.  This has been my experience with Craig Cavanagh , from the UK and one of my friends on Facebook.

He was a Facebook friend first. I have participated with him as he went through the creative process ( through his postings), and he has shared through personal messages to me about his life and his comments about my own life.  Through it all, his music has become more meaningful to me.

He recently has progressed in recognition at MTV UK  in the unsigned Music Artist category.  His music is available on iTunes and I believe we shall see more of this emerging artist.  He has the talent.

Here is a teaser video of his March EP release

Green Eyed Soul

His music is filled with rich lyrics and haunting tones , even with the  upbeat like Pon Me ( my favorite).  His voice range is wide and he hits notes that reflect emotion that carries through , soulful with depth.

A choir boy from Liverpool, England , Cavanagh is able to write his songs like paint on a canvas that each note that tends toward the higher register without being loud or showy, yet deep with resolution.

One of my favorite quotes from him from a recent posting on Facebook:

“Musicians, DJ’s singers and songwriters all have their own niche that inspires them to write or just bring a song/music into our lives. Personally, for me, it’s linked to love, heartbreak, break ups, lasting relationship/friendships, friendships lost and people I’ve lost along the way who will never get to hear the music with me again in this world! I just ♥ music ha! Morning x” – Craig Cavanagh

Craig Cavanagh

Craig Cavanagh

Listen to his music, go to his website: http://craigcavanagh.co.uk/beta/

Download his music on iTunes.

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February 16, 2013 · 11:38 am

The Sureness of Self


Photo Courtesy of Wake Forest University

Photo Courtesy of Wake Forest University

I was recently reading some of the writings of the philosopher, Alan Watts and found some impact to my own life.  He wrote and spoke about the need for us to really be engage in what we enjoy doing in life both in our work and in leisure.  When we simply focus on money or the mundane tasks, we lose ourselves and consequently life is not about living anymore.

It took me some time to discover this in my own life. When I finally did, everything changed.  At this stage of my life I am finally doing what I want to do in my work life and I am enjoying it.  It is still unfolding in many ways. However, the truth of it fills my soul so I am totally engaged and loving what I do.  It is the first time in my career that I am consistently enjoying my work day in and out.

The other thing that has happened is that this year, my personal life has finally come into alignment with what who I am internally.  That sureness of self has opened to me the door the opportunity to really develop a long lasting relationship.  It is already germinating.

This whole process (ongoing) has been so illuminating and freeing to me.

This path to be authentic to one’s self in one’s existence and life permeates into every aspect of your life as long as you allow it and nurture it.

Allan Watts said, “ This is the real secret of life – to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.”

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January 30, 2013 · 1:21 pm

Love Wins


Image by artist Peter Horjus

Image by artist Peter Horjus

Putting yourself out there fully and completely again is both freeing and also full of vulnerability.  You can be gay or straight, old or young.  You may be a newbie to relationships or a veteran of one or two or several.  It is a human experience. Wrapped in this need is this desire to live a life of love with someone else.

It has taken me some time to get here. First, I had to find myself , accept myself and come out.  That was a process that was painful for me and quite frankly for others, many of whom I loved dearly.  It involved the break up of a marriage I cherished, the parting with a wife and sweetheart I loved, and leaving the home of my children who were my soul.  Yet, my coming out was the process of many years of counseling, prayer, and self acceptance.  The duality could not exist in public what was truly the  whole that existed inside of me.

All of us have grown and we have learned to let love which united us all to carry us forward and kept us together in our hearts and in our lives.

After that chapter ended for me, I had to find who I was within my true identity that took a lot of discovering in a world I had no experience in and was frankly a life  that operated out of accepted society. Most of it , I could not share with my most of my family and the friends I had in my life to that point. I knew they loved me but they had no experience with my new life.  Frankly, I just did not know how to discuss it with them.

I could not tell them of the men I dated , the experiences I had, and the lessons I learned.  Those feelings and emotions were shared mostly with the family I created , people who genuinely loved me for who I was ,with  no closets and no judgments.

In time, I genuinely fell in love, authentically and for real.  It was the first time in my life that I felt entirely complete.  It was 11 years of  what I always thought a loving , committed relationship would be like. I was genuinely happy.  However, like many relationships, when things are left unattended and taken for granted, relationships can be challenged.  For me it ended in heartbreak and worse, lost of trust. I ended it.

I don’t regret the experience because I truly knew what it meant to really be  in love.  But it also made me wonder if I would ever find it again.

In 2013,  my heart is completely open to the possibility .  What has happened is that I have been meeting these great guys and going on some nice dates.  The difference is that everything is falling in line and I feel like I am in such a genuine and authentic place.  I also am finding that my desire is to expand my range of activities and experiences.  I also find that I want to connect with all the people I truly love from all parts of my life, especially those I have lost connections with over the years.

We may be in different areas of our lives, have different philosophies, religions, politics, but the love and the things that bonded us together are still there.  Those connections are what make life sweet and it is in our diversity that we learn and grow from each other.  In essence, this is what family is all about.

I am looking forward to finding love, but really looking forward to enjoying the journey.   I guess it is the result of feeling peace and this self confidence in knowing that in the end Love wins.

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January 20, 2013 · 10:44 am

Gangster Squad – Great Movie ! Don’t Let It Slip You By


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It is a throw back to that film noir like style of the forties and the old style of gangster movies but with a modern sensibility.  My friend Omar and I decided to see the film on a whim because some of the Oscar nominated films that we were hoping to see   did not have showings available when we arrived at the movie theater.

We heard about the Gangster Squad but really did not know too much about the film.  The first thing about the film, is its stellar cast: Sean Penn,  Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Nick Nolte and others.  The film uses classic narration and is filmed in such a way to give a nostalgic look to 1949 Los Angeles, where gangster, Mickey Cohen ( Sean Penn) is determined to make it his stronghold Chicago Mafia style.

The film follows a secret team of police officers who go underground vigilante style , under the law , while operating under the orders of the police chief to break up the gangster’s empire.  It is a harrowing , corrupt Los Angeles  that they risk their lives and families so they can  take this syndicate down.

It is an exciting film to watch and is an homage to gangster police films of the past.  Penn, Gosling and Brolin bring top rate performances. Penn is brilliant as the mobster boss and embodies his character wholly.  Brolin plays the leading man and bull headed straight cop to the tee.  He is forceful and superheroish in that way these characters always become even as flawed as they always are as people.  Gosling is the scene stealer and ,is again ,I believe, the greatest male actor of his generation.  I cannot wait to see him in more leading and challenging roles.

The movie has great acting, great action scenes and is one of the movies you love to see on the big screen.  If you have not seen it, do so, and make sure it does not slip you by.

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